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Not long ago a couple asked me to build their wedding in a way that would be no use to us at all. I said yes without thinking about it, and I have thought about it ever since.
Sonya and Rikki live in London. They married on Lake Garda, and they wanted a mainly Western wedding, with every element that would let their families feel completely at home. The food, the drink, the music, the look of the room. Not two halves stitched together, but one day that felt natural to everybody in it.
Then came the request I keep thinking about. They did not want the photographs and the film to be about the guests, or the party, or the big group moments. They wanted one thing only: the two of them. The first look. The road that brought them there.
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Your wedding should look like you. Not like someone’s portfolio.
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Here is the uncomfortable part of this industry. A lot of decisions at weddings get made because they will look good in a planner’s portfolio. The shot that photographs well. The setup that goes on the feed. It is quiet, it is constant, and the couple almost never notices.
We did exactly what Sonya and Rikki asked, so their wedding will never be our best marketing. It went well enough that a few months later they invited us to their celebration in London, just to be there with them.
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Sonya and Rikki. The only kind of photograph they asked for, and the only kind we show.
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Ask this
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Is this person listening to you, or auditioning?
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Ask any planner to describe the last wedding they were proud of. If everything they name would photograph well, you have your answer.
What is changing
Two cultures, one room. Couples want a day that reads as natural to both families, not one tradition with the other added on top.
Fewer group photographs. More couples want the day spent on them, not on arranging relatives in rows.
Privacy in writing. Couples now ask, before signing, that nobody publishes their wedding. Planner, photographer, venue, anybody.
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